Monday, April 20, 2009


What defines us are our ingredients, what we are made of makes us who we are. A few months ago a dear friend of mine told me she was done being friends with me with no reason or explanation, she was just done. I tried so hard to figure it out but could not draw any conclusions as to why, other then she was struggling and could not deal with things.

Yesterday she came to me and asked to talk; she wanted the opportunity to tell me what had happened. I listened to her and soon found that what I had thought was true, she just checked out because it was easier for her to handle things that way. She knew me well enough that I would not judge her and that I would forgive her. She knew what I was made of, what my ingredients were.

At the end of the conversation, she told me “Thanks for understanding. That is your gift from God and you do it well.” It really meant a lot to hear her say that. I try to be a reasonable person and understand people. What drives them to do things? Why do bad things happen? After all God calls us to be forgiving and understanding. Sometimes it is hard to have that ability, more often then not I end up being hurt and let down. However, yesterday God gave me back a good friendship, my reward for being patient.

It was funny because another friend opened up yesterday too. She told me how in church she had been thinking about how my ex boyfriend had hurt me with the things he had done. In addition, how it had affected so many of my relationships with people in the church. She was thankful to be my friend and see me reap the rewards God is giving me. She could not help but think about the others who have judged me and turned their backs on me and are missing out on the blessings because they chose to believe the lies and gossip about me.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not patting myself on the back. I am fully aware I am a sinner. Sometimes it takes going through a trial to find out what our ingredients are. God is funny like that, he does not make us and say ‘here you go, this is your recipe. This is who you are and what you are made of so you know how to deal with life’. Instead, He gave us His word, repeatedly in the scriptures He tells us to be like him; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Galatians 4:19; Romans 8:29; Ephesians 4:13 Romans 12:2. Ephesians 4: 23-24 “to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness“.

I would like to think that two of my ingredients are grace and faith; they are what I strive for in my walk every day. I love the following definitions from Webster’s Dictionary and the bible:

Webster’s definition of Grace noun 1. A state of sanctification by God. 2. Elegance and beauty of movement or expression. 3. A sense of propriety and consideration for others. 4. A disposition to kindness and compassion; benign good will

The Bible’s definition of Grace (1.) Of form or person (Prov. 1:9; 3:22; Ps. 45:2). (2.) Favor, kindness, friendship (Gen. 6:8; 18:3; 19:19; 2 Tim. 1:9). (3.) God's forgiving mercy (Rom. 11:6; Eph. 2:5).

Webster’s definition of Faith noun 1. A strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny. 2. Complete confidence in a person or plan etc. 3. Institution to express belief in a divine power. 4. Loyalty or allegiance to a cause or a person.

The Bible’s definition of Faith is in general the persuasion of the mind of the truth. (Phil. 1:27; 2 Thess. 2:13). Its primary idea is trust. A thing is true, and therefore worthy of trust. Faith is the result of teaching (Rom. 10:14-17). Knowledge is an essential element in all faith, and is sometimes spoken of as an equivalent to faith (John 10:38; 1 John 2:3).

It is hard for us to suffer; we often ask ourselves why we have to go through these trials and why we are not good enough. God wants to give us our ingredients; He wants to show us what we are made of.


  1. I'm sure you've heard the analogy of the tea bag. A woman is like a tea bag - you find out how strong she is when placed in hot water. Great post...again (smile).

  2. Great post...sounds like you have some great friends...another blessing. :-)