Saturday, April 4, 2009

Guard Your Chocolate

When I began my last relationship, I told him there were five things that would promptly end the relationship if he did any of them: Gambling, drugs, drinking, abuse and cheating/lying. Little did I know, or admit to myself at the time that I was the ‘other woman’.

Guard your chocolate at all times if it means anything to you at all. Your chocolate can be anything i.e., your man, children, and your heart. And of course, your chocolate! In the five years that we were together, almost all of my rules were broken…repeatedly. The lies were always there, it just took a while to realize them, the cheating, well I was the other woman to begin with. Through the course of the relationship, there were a minimum of 20 other women that I know about. One sin leads to another and another and it will never change until you change.

I know that what ultimately failed the relationship was not him or me; it was the fact that we did not build it on a firm foundation of God. We are both saved now, but we did not start the relationship that way and the sin was there from the beginning. Even as Christians, we are susceptible to failure if we do not guard what we cherish with God’s words. You can be a Christian and still walk in the world if you do not put God above all else.

I think in our case, I was looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with to care for and grow with, he fit what I wanted, a good man, Christian, loving father, caring and giving, the list of his good qualities go on and on, he was enough for me, but I put him ahead of God. I put him first in everything, and when he failed, I tried to hold him accountable. That was not my place, it is God’s place, but if we are not living for God and putting Him first, He cannot do His job.

For him, he was also searching to find happiness, and while I was enough for a time, soon he started searching in other places. He began to cheat, we would argue, that would lead to more cheating; we were in a constant circle of sin. He hid the fact that he was with me for three years of our relationship and continued to date other women. When I would get suspicious he would lie or blame me, and always played the ‘just friends’ card.

Guard what you cherish! Ladies let me tell you something, any single Christian should guard their actions when they are with another single of the opposite sex. (Note that period) If you are a single woman, you need to cherish yourself! Dress appropriately, so you do not attract the wrong kind of attention from men. You need to be careful not to put yourself in situations that would be questionable. A true Christian man who wants to be around you is not going to ask you to do anything that is not based on God.

God loved us so much, and our sin was hurting not only Him, but us too. He did the one thing that He could do to save us, even though it hurt, he sent Jesus to die and save us from our sins. That is unconditional Agape love. God calls us to love each other that way. I had to love him enough to walk away.

Right up to the end, he continued to lie about me to the people in his life, but tried to have a relationship with me. I finally gave him back everything that he had ever given me and walked away. It is devastating to know that he thinks I did it out of hatred, but I know in my heart that I did it out of love. I pray for him every day and I will never stop. I want to him to seek God with all he has, and to realize that because God loves him enough he does not need to seek love from anyone else. I know that when he finally gets that then God will bless him with someone to love.

He is my chocolate; I had to let him go in order to guard him for what God has in store for him. Do not get me wrong I am still hurt; I have come out of it learning a valuable lesson, it is more important to love then anything. I pray every day to let go. I would not be where I am today with out having gone through what I did, and I cherish that too! I can forgive him and still love him because I know that we failed each other by not putting God first.

Romans 15:1-7 1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." 4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

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